Sterling K. Brown will allow his kids to decide their own futures

Sterling - who has been married to Ryan since 2007 - told PEOPLE: "There's this idea I think that both of us agree on, most of the time, is that they're not to be moulded into versions of us. That they kind of are who they are when they come to you. And we're just trying to shepherd them to become the best version of who they already are, right?"

At one stage, Ryan tried to steer one of her sons in a particular direction. But according to Sterling, that idea ultimately proved to be a disaster.

The actor shared: "Ryan tried to make [our son] into a dancer for a hot second. He's a very good dancer, a very good dancer. And he looked around in ballet class and he's like, 'I'm the only dude. I'm out.'"

Sterling and Ryan actually agreed on "a lot of things" about parenting before they even had children.

The actress explained: "A lot of things about parenting we got settled and agreed on before the children came, so whatever big issues we may or may not have had, we had hashed them out.

"There were not a lot of surprises in terms of, 'Oh, this is the kind of parent Sterling is,' or, 'This is the kind of parent Ryan is.' I had no idea she was going to be so lackadaisical. I had no idea he was going to be the fun guy."