Former New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern says we need to radically re-think our ideas about what makes a successful political leader.
"I want to bring into question those old assumptions about the character traits we want in politics," Ms Ardern tells 7.30 in her first Australian TV interview about her new memoir, A Different Kind of Power.
"People are seeking more kindness, more empathy, and these are not traits that can't coexist with the idea of strength and courage."
Sworn in as PM in 2017 aged 37, Jacinda Ardern became a phenomenon as Jacindamania swept New Zealand then the world, partly in response to her youth but also the highly unusual circumstances of her giving birth while in office (Pakistan prime minister Benazir Bhutto was the only other modern politician to do so, in 1990).
Ms Ardern's political achievements were only possible after overcoming deep personal uncertainty about her abilities.
"My whole short life," she writes in her memoir, "I'd grappled with the idea that I was never quite good enough, that at any moment I would be caught short."
"There are plenty of people who have this experience," Ms Ardern told 7.30. "There just happens to be very few who then share it or talk about it out loud.
"I think one of the reasons that we don't discuss, for instance, imposter syndrome, we don't discuss confidence gap, is because people have something to lose in doing so. I don't.
"You know, I've had a significant career in politics. I made the decision to leave. There was something very freeing in there and now I feel absolutely able to have this kind of open conversation.
"Over time I've seen the strength that comes from what we perceive to be weakness. A confidence gap often leads to humility, a willingness to bring in experts and advisors, and I think ultimately makes you a better decision maker."
Having worked in a junior position for former New Zealand prime minister Helen Clarke, Ms Ardern initially regarded herself as too sensitive, too thin-skinned to survive in politics.
"Most people would look at politics and say, 'Have I got the armour required to be in that space?' And it was actually when I was in parliament itself that I really made the decision that I wasn't willing to change who I was in order to survive what we might call the bear pit."
Ms Ardern said the purpose of writing the book, rather than producing a typical politician's memoir, was to encourage more people to consider entering public life.
"I was convinced that if I was going to write anything, it should really be a story about how it feels to lead because you know, who knows who's out there, considering whether or not they have what it takes, considering whether or not they can succeed if they lead with empathy," she said.
The prime minister and the porcelain
How it feels to lead included experiencing acute morning sickness just as Ms Ardern was about to be sworn in as prime minister.
"I was slumped on the floor thinking, 'what if during this very formal ceremony I can't hold it in?' It's not the kind of thought process you want to go through when you're about to have the speech from the throne, from the then Queen's representative, all the heads of judiciary, the defence force and every single member of parliament sitting in one space facing you."
Fortunately for Ms Ardern she got through it.
"No one was the wiser. Except my porcelain toilet," the former prime minister said.
Ms Ardern told 7.30 the reasons why she did not initially make the news of her pregnancy public.
"I was in negotiation to become prime minister. That's a particularly delicate time," she said.
"Equally ... I knew having just been elected, my priority somehow may have appeared to be misplaced. And I didn't believe that to be true but I felt I needed to demonstrate that was the case before revealing the happy news that I was also going to have a baby."
In her meteoric rise to the top of New Zealand politics, Ms Ardern was subjected to plenty of critiques aimed at her gender.
While in opposition she was often depicted as a show pony in cartoons and analysis. One female MP described Ms Ardern's appointment as Labor leader a "cosmetic facelift".
She pushed back hard on morning radio when a host suggested that as a young woman she was obliged to reveal her reproductive plans.
"That is not acceptable!" she thundered at the presenter, repeating the line three times.
"It was the idea that any woman should be required to answer that question, and that was certainly what was implied there. I felt very strongly that that was not OK," Ms Ardern said.
Along with her descriptions of juggling the demands of national leadership and a baby, the need for nappy bags and breast pumps at international events, Ms Ardern also reveals the importance of the position she held did not make her immune from parental guilt.
"Some might think that that's an example of where maybe your guilt should be a little bit lessened because you've got a pretty reasonable excuse to be busy and to not always be there, but my learning was actually it never goes away," she said.
The best advice she received was from Buckingham Palace.
A pregnant Ms Ardern asked Queen Elizabeth II how she had raised her children as a public figure. The Queen's response was simple: "You just get on with it."
And, so, Ms Ardern did.
"It turned out, you know, the Queen was absolutely right with that advice," she said.
Leaving politics
After serving two terms as prime minister, steering New Zealand through the immense demands of COVID, in the economic downturn that followed Ms Ardern's popularity dropped sharply.
In January 2023, after nearly six years in office, she made the decision she was spent and wanted to step down.
Now on a fellowship at Harvard University in the US, she is focused on the potential for empathetic leadership in politics.
The memoir, she says, is part of that.
"To share a little bit more about what it looks like behind the scenes in the hope that a few more people who might identify as criers, huggers and worriers might take up the mantle of leadership, because I'd say we need them," she said.
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