In times of change, the pressure to make the "right" decision can feel overwhelming — like that single choice could make or break your future.
Be it changing your career direction, deciding if (or when) to have a child or contemplating the end of a relationship, it's easy to find yourself stuck in a cycle of indecision — or "analysis paralysis".
This pressure is something Jemma Sbeg, creator of podcast The Psychology of Your 20s, knows all too well.
She described her own crisis of indecision when her once-small podcast unexpectedly exploded in popularity.
Ms Sbeg told Sarah Kanowski on ABC Conversations how she suddenly found herself at a crossroads.
With a degree in psychology, Sbeg had a unique perspective to understand what was happening — and how to process it.
"It became pretty apparent that I was going to have to quit my full-time job," she said.
"I was also in the process of applying for a master's [degree] because I wanted to become a clinical psychologist.
"I remember being like, 'OK, you have to make a choice. You just can't do both. The podcast is so much work. What are you going to do?'"
The crisis of life transitions
As Ms Sbeg faced the difficult choice of reassessing her career trajectory, she says it triggered a "quarter-life crisis".
Whether you're 25 or 45, the crisis feels the same: a growing urgency to figure your life out and make the most of your time.
"It's this impending realisation that … I don't have infinite time to find love, to figure out what I want to do with my life, to save money, to enjoy my experiences," Ms Sbeg said.
"It's realising that maybe the decisions you have made so far have kept you trapped, kept you small, made you kind of unhappy.
"It's a big door to open to acknowledge 'I'm unhappy', and then, 'I have to do something about it.'"
While inner turmoil is a tough feeling to sit with, Ms Sbeg points out it serves an important role.
- It's a catalyst for personal growth,
- It brings clarity to see the path ahead, and,
- It's an opportunity to implement change
"You have to get to that place of extreme discomfort to realise that you have maybe outgrown a former version of yourself," she said.
"It's going to be painful, but that pain is so rewarding at the end."
Why we get stuck
If this all sounds familiar, you might be experiencing decision paralysis — the fear of making the wrong move.
Clinical psychologist and chief executive of the Australian Psychological Society Zena Burgess says when this happens, people feel like they can't move forward.
"The more they think about it, the more overanalysing they do and they put off making the decision," Dr Burgess said.
"When you've got too many choices, people get crippled by a large number of variables.
"Or they overestimate the chances of a bad outcome."
In essence, decision paralysis is about avoiding negative consequences, and staying safe.
"People will hesitate when they think it will result in a loss to them, or people close to them," Dr Burgess said.
"Or because they're hoping to avoid any kind of judgement."
Who's most affected?
Clinical psychologist Max von Sabler explains that while anyone can experience indecision, people with perfectionist personality traits may be more prone to it.
"Perfectionism is often at the heart of decision paralysis," he said.
"The need to make the 'right' choice can stall action entirely, particularly when uncertainty or competing demands are involved … and an internal pressure to uphold an impossible ideal."
According to Mr von Sabler, decision paralysis is also common in people who have:
- High anxiety,
- Obsessive-compulsive traits, or
- A tendency to be highly critical of themselves
In the case of someone freezing at the thought of resigning when offered a better job, Mr von Sabler says there's often a deeper story.
"On the surface, it's about logistics or timing. But often, what may really be in play is the fear of letting people down, being seen as disloyal, or not living up to the new role," he says.
"Indecision can operate as a kind of defence in some circumstances — not against the decision itself, but against what it might expose."
Life coach and self-help author Danielle Colley has seen analysis paralysis play out at different scales.
"Sometimes it can happen in fairly inconsequential ways, such as staring at the cheese in the deli and being overwhelmed by choice," she said.
"However, when that choice has to do with relationships, your work or your home — areas [where] we prefer stability for our overall sense of wellbeing — it can feel impossible to make a choice."
The fear of regret
To this, Ms Sbeg offers a simple and empowering perspective:
"If you are doing something, there's no way that you are doing it wrong. Any kind of action is important and purposeful," she said.
For those prone to overthinking, Mr von Sabler adds:
"Commit to any action. Action is the antidote for thought," he said.
Ms Sbeg says this is backed up by a 2005 study from the University of Illinois that found it's a lack of action that people regret the most, rather than the decisions they make.
It's a powerful reminder that inaction often haunts us more than mistakes.
"Do anything that calls you deeply — do anything that even calls you mildly," Ms Sbeg said.
"Movement will get you somewhere faster than staying still, even if it means you have to turn around and come back."
Trust yourself
If you still feel stuck or worried about taking a leap of faith, Ms Sbeg is quick to point out that failures are important.
"It's so valuable to learn something from your mistakes and to trust yourself that you're going to be OK," she said.
"Every failure, at least, ends with the notion that you made it through."
Ms Colley agrees. She also warns that indecision is a decision in itself — one that can leave you feeling powerless.
"Indecision may even lead to someone else or circumstances making the decision for you and you lose your agency," she said.
"Trust in your ability to make the best of every situation you land in, and your ability to make new decisions as more information becomes available to you."
There's no 'right' path
Regardless of the stage of life you're in, there's no magic blueprint to tell you all the answers, and that's OK.
Reassuringly, Ms Sbeg says there are multiple paths to a happy life.
"I feel like I wasted so much time in my early 20s worrying about where I was going to be at 30 that I didn't even get to enjoy that chapter," she said.
"I wish I could tell 21-year-old me, 'Just calm down. You don't need to figure it all out now. Just enjoy it.'"
Listen to Jemma Sbeg's full interview on the Conversations podcast on the ABC listen app.
This is general information only. For personalised advice, you should see a qualified professional.
