When Laura Furiosi and her husband divorced, she was so focused on their three children she says she didn't pay enough attention to the financial side of the separation.
Some superannuation was shared, explains the Brisbane mother and entrepreneur, but the subject felt 'tricky' to navigate.
"In hindsight, I wish I'd made my future security a priority as well, rather than solely concentrating on the immediate parenting arrangements," she says.
"I try not to be too hard on myself because, honestly, you can only manage so much when you're going through such a stressful time."
Experts say it is common for women to walk away with less than they are entitled to when it comes to superannuation in divorce or during a separation in a de facto relationship (when you and your partner have a relationship and live together as a couple but are not married).
The advice is to not ignore it so you're not worse off financially down the track.
Am I entitled to my partner's superannuation?
Laura now hosts a podcast with the help of her mother and family lawyer Lyn Galvin, which helps other women navigate divorce and separation.
Ms Galvin says under Australian law, superannuation is regarded as property by the family court.
"It's got a value just as a house has a value and a car has a value," she says.
"And with that, the court is able to make orders altering ownership of all or part of the superannuation."
You don't always need to go to court
Ms Galvin recommends people first seek legal advice if they can and try to negotiate through professional mediation.
You may be eligible for free family dispute resolution services through Family Relationships Online.
Ms Galvin says she commonly hears the phrase 'don't touch my super' during the divorce process.
And that sometimes one partner will try to "coerce" the other to not take their share of the superannuation.
"If you don't have lawyers with you in the mediation and you haven't had advice, then there's a big risk in … losing something that you should have otherwise had."
Laura recommends women arm themselves with as much knowledge as possible when going through a divorce.
"I've spoken to so many women … who didn't even realise that superannuation could be part of the property settlement," she says.
"Some think it doesn't matter because it's far into the future, or they just want to settle and move on because their ex can be really difficult.
"But when the kids are grown up and you're thinking about your own future, you might regret not negotiating for more super at the time."
What happens if I don't ask for super?
Australian women retire with about one-third less superannuation than men, with the gap being anywhere between 22 per cent and 35 per cent, according to data from the Monash University's centre for Health Research and Implementation in Melbourne/Naarm.
Professor Helena Teede says that's largely due to the gender pay gap and women taking time out of the workforce or working reduced hours to care for children.
"The biggest impact overall is the amount of time women spend out of the workforce in carer roles," she says.
"So, when they're working part time, they're out of the workforce and therefore significantly accumulating less superannuation.
"If a man and woman were to separate, or even same sex couples were to separate, the separation of the assets including the superannuation, should be divided equally."
She says research from the university also shows that women will often relinquish superannuation during the divorce process in exchange "for custody of the children, or to reduce that exposure to partners where there's been a history of family or domestic violence".
"They simply want to get away from that situation," she says.
"It's one of the reasons why one of the most rapidly rising poor mental health and anxiety levels in the community is actually women over 50.
"Financial insecurity is the primary cause of deteriorating health for women, and also rising homelessness amongst, hard-working women who've pretty much put most of their careers on hold to look after families."
Splitting super before a split
Rebecca Pritchard is a senior financial planner from Melbourne/Naarm who often works with people going through the divorce process.
She is a big advocate for women negotiating with their spouse on super, regardless of divorce or separation.
It's a little-known strategy called contribution splitting.
"So, super splitting is a strategy that exists under the existing [superannuation] system, which says you can split contributions that are already getting made into your spouse's account across to another spouse," she says.
"It allows you to adjust the household superannuation, so that you're at parity or close to it, without requiring further contributions to actually be made."
She says people need to fill out a form with their superannuation fund every 12 months to enact the split, or you can split retrospectively.
"So, you're splitting for contributions that have already been made in the previous financial year, and you can do it year on year for every year that it is relevant."
She says it's a conversation that ought to be had in every single household before you've had children.
"And if your partner is not on board with this conversation, that's a really big red flag."
This article contains general information only. You should consider obtaining independent professional advice in relation to your particular circumstances.
